Syren: What's the story called?
Varric: *sigh* The Black Lion.
Merrill: What's a lion Varric? I've never heard of such a thing before.
Varric: Can we focus back on the story, please? Now....where was I? Oh yes. There was a brilliant artist, whose work was known throughout the land.
Alex Shepard: Is this gonna be a long story? I have a galaxy to save.
*Miri punches her on the arm*
Alex: Ouch! What was that for?
Miranda: *glares at Alex* Shut up and listen.
Isabela: Oh kitten, just give up. You cant argue with her when she is like that.
Aya: Shush! I'm trying to listen to the story Auntie Cira!
Varric: Any more interruptions? No? Good. Now then......he was known for his feats of storytelling, and his amazing works of art. Even the empress of Orlais took notice of his paintings. She asked him to.......
Rin: Where's Orlais?
Velair: *nudges her* Shhhh. It doesn't exist.
Leliana: It most certainly does exist! I'm from Orlais.
Varric: *facepalm* I'm never going to get through this story am I?
Alex: *mutters* Hopefully.
*Miranda smacks her on the head this time*
Alex: Ouch! Stop that!
Aya: I say you deserved it, Auntie.
Alex: Please stop calling me 'Auntie'. Makes me feel sooo old.
Varric: And you are old.
Varric: Now, let me continue...
Varric: You know what..........let's change it up some. The Black Lion was a powerful warrior, that was known throughout Thedas and even the......what's beyond that? (Turns to Liara)
Liara: Galaxy Varric. I'll explain later.
Varric: Please don't. My brain hurts enough as it is.
Liara: As you wish.
Varric: The Black Lion traveled the land vanquishing evil, protecting the innocent, and just being an all around good sort of guy.
Aya: Yeah! Heroes rock!!!!!
Kaycee: Shhh sweetie.
Aya: But dad.....
Kaycee: Pay attention to your uncle Varric.
Varric: He fought dragons, demons, and the forces of darkness.
Rin: I thought dragons weren't real dad!
Kaycee: I said you'd never have to worry about dragons. Never said they didn't exist.
Varric: You should have seen some of the dragons we faced....I remember this one time down in the Bone Pit.
Marian Hawke: Varric.
Varric: Oh, right......forgot my audience demographic.
Velair: Can we hear the story about the dragon?
Liara: When you're older sweetie, remember we're learning about the Black Lion today.
Velair: Oh, right. HEROES!!!
Alex: If you wanna hear about heroes, let me tell you that one time I...
*This time, both Miranda and Isabela smack her on the head*
Alex: Hey! Why have you two teamed up?
Isabela: Since you started hogging the light.
Merrill: The light? But there is enough light for everyone. Well, at least for me. I can see just fi...
Aveline: Never mind them Merrill.
Fenris: Can we just get on with this?
Marian: Why? You have an appointment or something?
Anders: Actually, I do have an appointment in my clinic, so I must agree with the elf here. Please hurry up Varric.
Varric: Alright, alright. Don't get your knickers in a twist mage-boy.
Syren: What are knickers?
Isabela: *begins snickering*
Marian: *thumps Isabela on the arm*
Isabela: *laughs harder*
Syren: What'd I say?
Liara: *glares at Isabela*
Alex: You see kid, knickers are...
*Miranda, Kaycee, Marian and Liara all smack her on the head, while Isabela almost falls down laughing*
Alex: STOP HITTING ME!!
Kasumi: Jeez, you can be a loud one. Are you like that in bedroom?
*Miranda glares at Kasumi, while Alex chokes and blushes*
Alex: What?? Shut up Kasumi, there are kids here!
Kaycee: *annoyed* Now you noticed?
Kaycee: Aya? Something you'd like to tell us?
Liara: Who's been telling you these stories?
Aya: Uncle Zaeed......and Aunt Izzy.
Isabela: *stops laughing* Uh-oh...........
Alex: Ha! Busty pirate is done for!
Miranda: *quirks an eyebrow* 'Busty pirate'?
Alex: Umm, well.. I... Oh look, here is Zaeed!
Liara: Zaeed.....why are you telling my daughter....your stories?
Zaaed: Wait, do what now?
Liara: Your stories Zaeed. You know full well that your stories are not appropriate for my daughters.....ever.
Zaeed: I haven't!
Aya: Auntie Cira gave me ten credits to blame him.
Alex: *eyes widen* Oh......crud.
Kaycee: You managed to get money out of your aunt......not bad. *notices look from Liara* I mean.....*cough*
*Miranda and Liara glare at Alex*
Miri: Busty pirate?
Liara: Getting my daughter to lie for you, AND telling her inappropriate stories?
Varric: *to EDI* Tell me you're getting all this.
EDI: Every word.
Varric: Great. I sense a new best-selling novel in the making.
Miri and Liara: Well Cira?
Alex: I think I hear Harbinger running rampage, calling my name... Gotta go! See ya!
*tries to run, but both Miranda and Liara put up biotic shields around her to stop her from fleeing.*
Alex: Ah fu... Kaycee, sis, a lil help over here?
*Liara glares at Kaycee, who just raises her arms in defense*
Kaycee: Sorry Alex, you are on your own.
Alex: * mouthing to Aya* Traitor.
Aya: Mom scares me more than you.
Varric: Well.......I guess this is it for the story.
Rin: But we didn't learn about the Black Lion.
Varric: I'll tell you next time.
Liara/Miranda: *mischievous look* Girls? How about you all go have fun with your Auntie Cira.
Alex: You wouldn't.
Isabela: Don't be so sure sweetness.
Aya: Alright girls.......DOGPILE!!!!!!!!!!