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Submitted on
May 28, 2012
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32 (who?)
Shepard Family Stories
Zaeed: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

The kitchen is a blue blur as Liara rushes to get things prepared. Kaycee strolls in and puts her arms around her wife. "Shepard, I don't have time. Things need to be ready."

"What's the big deal? It's just your father coming to dinner. She's a riot to be around."

"It's not just that, she's bringing a date along. Is Ayrene dressed and ready?"

"Sweetie, you need to relax, I think its great that Aethyta is still able to see people at her age."

"I am more worried of what kind of person she'd bring."

" a good point."

The doorbell rings. Ayrene rushes past "I'll get it dad!"

Shepard begins to protest, but smiles, ("so helpful"). She hears the door open and Ayrene's voice. "Grandma! Uncle Z!"

...wait...did she just say!!!!!!

Shepard quickly moves to the door to find lo and behold, Zaeed standing in the hallway, Ayrene in his arms. "Look daddy! Uncle Z is here!"

Zaeed gives Kaycee an apologetic look as if to say, this was not my idea. "Shepard", he says gruffly.

Shepard's mind goes blank at the scene before her: Aethyta in a slinky black dress, Zaeed in a white button-down with khakis, her arm wrapped around his.

Oh, this will not end well. "Liara, honey! Your dad and Zaeed are here!"

A loud crash is heard from the kitchen. Aethyta smiles, "Liara? Is everything alright?"

A long silence follows that seems like an eternity before Liara responds, "Fine dad. Just had one of the plates fall onto the floor."

"Do you want me to help?"

"No dad, I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute".

Shepard leads the party over to the dining room. "Uncle Z, why are you here?"

Zaeed put Ayrene down, "Well that's actually a funny story. Your grandmum here, we've been...seeing each other for the past few weeks."

He stops talking as Liara enters the room with a bowl of salad. "Hello Zaeed."


She turns to her father with a strained smile as she places the salad on the table. "So, how did you two meet?"

Zaeed clears his throat. "Well that's a story to be sure. I was tracking a Krogan Blood Pack leader to Purgatory. He rabbited and burst through the presidium. I wound up chasing him through the Apollo Cafe, and that's when she stepped in. Your grandma here, stepped in front of a charging krogan and headbutted him. She didn't stop there, she followed up with a biotic punch right in the face. The poor bugger never knew what hit him. What a woman."

Aethyta put her hand on his shoulder, "Zaeed, your stories always end up long winded. How about I shorten it? He stood there staring like he'd never seen a pair of....(at that point Shepard puts her hands over Ayrene's ears). Long story short, he's a real animal between the sheets."


"What? Like you don't feel the same about her."

"Not in front of my daughter please!"

"What's the problem, she'll learn about this sooner or later."

"She's 5 years old Dad!"

Zaeed and Shepard look at each other, he motions to the door. She nods in agreement, picking up Ayrene. They make their way outside. "Well, this is going about as well as I expected."

Shepard looks at him in surprise. "You mean she planned this?"

Zaeed sighs. "Yeah pretty much, she's not doing this to be spiteful or mean. She's doing this because she has no other way to interact with her own daughter."

Ayrene looks over at Zaeed. "You like her?"

"Of course I do, your grandma is a remarkable woman."

Shepard nudges Zaeed with her elbow to make sure he doesn't go into any more detail. Shepard listens intently, "Things have gotten quiet. This is either a good sign, or a remarkably bad one. Well Blue, shall we go make sure mommy hasn't done anything crazy?"

Ayrene grins and nods. Upon entering the dining room, they are met with an unexpected sight: Liara and Aethyta sitting together, Liara's head on her father's shoulder smiling with tears rolling down her cheeks. "Everyone alive sweetie?"

Liara looks up, her blue eyes glistening from the tears. "Yes, we've just been discussing a few things. Everything is fine now."

Ayrene rushes over to Aethyta and sits on her lap. "Uncle Z really likes you, you know?"

Zaeed chokes on his drink. Aethyta just sits there smiling. She bends down and whispers "I know" and kisses Ayrene on the forehead. Shepard finally sits down next to Liara and puts her arm around her waist. "Shall we?"

Liara wipes her tears away. "Yes, but I think we'll have to figure out something else, the food's probably cold by now."

Shepard smiles, "We'll think of something."

I was very happy with how this story came out. Just popped into my head (as disturbing as the idea may be ;) )

A Collaboration with LiveAndLoveArt.

These will be a series of "Mini-Stories" dealing with Kaycee Shepard and her family.

If you enjoyed this, please visit LiveAndLoveArt's deviant page for more on the Shepard family.


I do not own any Mass Effect Characters.
Kaycee Shepard and her family belong to LiveAndLoveArt.
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jay357 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
ha. I actually like it :iconorzplz:

having said that, I hope aethyta outlives him by YEARS. never liked that guy. even less after his loyalty mission :iconannoyeddotdotdotplz:

okay, No2 done. Now I should *really* go to sleep :icononiskiplz:
SaintWalker1806 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012
Zaeed I can't help but like. His stories all brought a smile to my face. I found him really fascinating. and then this story.....just popped into my head. They are perfect together :D
jay357 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I dunno. I never got Zaeed I guess. On Normandy, he's even less interesing than Kasumi (which means *something*!) and on missions... oh well, I never took him anywhere, except for his loyalty mission. haha, and there he made me choose between him and other people... :icononionxdplz: which means... I chose other people :icondignitylaughplz: which means... he wasn't loyal. which means... he died in me3... hehehehehe so no Aethyta for MY Zaeed! I'm such a bad bad girl :iconlaughingplz:

but yeah, sure, I'll try to be nice to him *caugh* ;)
SaintWalker1806 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012
Ha! you never managed to make him loyal when choosing other people. I always had the option to coerce him into putting his revenge behind him. That never happened with me. He always put his revenge aside. His stories are just awesome to listen to.

Not to mention, if you choose to kill Vido......most badass execution ever. :D
But you need to keep in mind. He plays a bigger part in Lineage.
jay357 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
nuh, I never really cared about him, so I didn't care whether he was loyal, dead or alive... sure, I know that's why he died =D hihihihihi
yeah, too bad for him that they never put the effort in and made him and kasumi some nice conversation wheels n stuff. would've been nice and MAYBE I would've visited him more often. I like stories =)
well, as a renegade who gave a rat's ass about him, I never got around to convincing him otherwise :XD:

yeah, I *know* I didn't play me2 just once, you know ;)
that's actually the part of him I truly like :iconlaughingplz:, cause he and my shepard are similar when it comes to that. *hehehe*

it's not that I hate him. I just didn't like him.
but wait... is jacob a major thing in your stories?! I soooo hope not :XD: now *THAT* would be bad :XD:
SaintWalker1806 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012
:icondragonlaugh: You'll have to read Lineage to find out :icondragonlick:
jay357 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
oh oh o_O
SaintWalker1806 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012
:icondragonlaugh: I try my best to improve on those characters that were lacking in personality. Which in all aspects was Jacob. But you'll have to read Lineage to understand :D
(1 Reply)
We-canTroll-the-sky Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2012
I always thought Zaeed and Aethyta would make a good pair. Amazing work by the way, I love the detailed illustrations of the characters
SaintWalker1806 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2012
Thanks! It certainly was interesting writing them together. (My first thought was. O_O....oh my god, zaeed's a boy toy :rofl:)
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